


"I care about you, quite a damn bit actually"

by bexwritesoccasionally



Category: Shadow of the Templar - M. Chandler
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 08:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15115610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bexwritesoccasionally/pseuds/bexwritesoccasionally
Summary: Johnny and Nate have always felt attracted to each other - both assuming it was unrequited and scared of ruining their friendship. But with Farraday on the loose again and Johnny's concern for Nate mounting, their feelings for each other finally come to the forefront.





	"I care about you, quite a damn bit actually"

**Author's Note:**

> In the middle of book 3 – around chapter 58ish where the team move into hotel rooms with Diane where they place all the mics and most importantly; where Johnny and Nate share a room. Basically the only thing i enjoy writing - soft gays.  
> tw//: Also there is a tiny bit of lightly described violence and nightmares.

Johnny pulled the door handle down when the key-card scanner flashed green, and pushed the door open. Still standing in the corridor and using one hand to prop the door open, Johnny gestured with his other hand for Nate to enter the room. “After you.”

Nate raised his eyebrows, “Sure you don’t need to clear the area first?” Johnny smiled at the floor and shook his head, realising how extra he had been with making sure Nate was safe, especially in the past few days. Nate hauled the strap of his bag further up onto his shoulder, pushing Johnny’s shoulder playfully as he walked past him into the room.

Nate looked at the room and turned to smirk at Johnny, before ditching his bag on the floor and diving onto the double bed. “I call shotgun!”

Johnny tried to look indifferent, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t help but grin. “Don’t you mean dibs?” Johnny shook his head again for what must have been the seventeenth time in about 5 minutes, before ditching his bag on the sofa bed.

Nate giggled from behind him on the bed and Johnny closed his eyes as he felt his heart jump. He didn’t know how to explain it. Nate had always just been, _and always will be_ , a friend. But recently he’d noticed himself paying more attention. To his laugh. To the way he pushed his glasses further up his nose. To the way he ran his tongue over and bit his bottom lip when he was thinking. He knew that his secret glances could never amount to anything and yet, he couldn’t stop himself. Maybe it was Farraday – making him realise how much he cared about ~~him~~ the team.

Nate was sat with his legs crossed on the bed, watching Johnny. He cocked his head to the side and smiled.  Johnny was stood with his back to him, seemingly doing nothing. When Johnny turned around Nate averted his eyes, rushing to pretend he was messing around on his laptop, subsequently kicking the pile of papers that Johnny had ditched on the end of the bed onto the floor. _Smooth Nate… Smooth…_ Nate said to himself.

Johnny immediately came over to kneel by the bed to pick up the paper and Nate joined him. “Sorry, I’m a klutz.”

Johnny scoffed, “Believe me, I know.”

“Honestly you don’t have to help me clean this up, I’ve got –“

“It’s fine. I don’t mind. I want to help.” Nate’s eyes flicked up to meet with Johnny’s and subconsciously both of them stopped collecting the stray paper. Nate grasped for something to say, opening his mouth but coming up with nothing. His eyes searching Johnny’s face for any indication of what he should do, the sound of his heartbeat roaring in his ears.

Johnny didn’t know why he did it, but seeing Nate’s green eyes and the way his blond hair was messily falling over them, his glasses falling down his nose, made his heart stop. And before he knew it he was lifting his hand to sweep Nate’s stray hairs out of the way. His eyes flitted down as Nate ran his tongue out over his bottom lip, his cheeks bright red.

Even Johnny could feel himself flushing before Nate looked away and cleared his throat, “So, Mike and Diane, huh?” Nate tried conversationally before he continued to pick up the bits of paper that were scattered around, definitely at a more hurried pace.

“Don’t trust ‘er.” Johnny offered. “Not as far as I could throw her.”

Nate stood and put the stack of paper back on the bed. “She seems to have Mike fooled though.”

“Anything with a pulse that’s an opportunity for sex could fool Mike.” He noticed that Nate smiled at that. “’ts not exactly hard.”

Before Nate could counter with his witty response about what part of Mike _is_ hard, there was a knock on the door. “FBI! Hands behind your heads! We have you surroun –“ Johnny scoffed and reached over to swing the door open to reveal a grinning Mike and unamused looking Sandra. “Hey Johnny boy!” Mike ruffled the hair that was left from Johnny’s buzzcut, and moved to flop down on the chair at the desk.

Mike turned his attention to Nate and winked at him, “Hey specs.” Mike regarded the double bed, “Glad to see you and Texas are gonna get up close and personal.”

Nate instinctively felt his cheeks burn and looked to Johnny, who gave him a small smile and rolled his eyes.

* * *

After hours of listening to Mike and Diane and turning up nothing important, exhaustion was sweeping over Nate in waves. No amount of red bull or caffeine could bring him back from the precipice of sleep. He checked his watch: only _9:30_.

“You can get some rest if you want? Don’t think anything else interesting is gonna happen.” Nate glanced at Johnny, who was leaning back on his chair, with his eyes closed and a toothpick in his mouth. His arms were crossed and if it wasn’t for the almost unnoticeable tapping of his foot, Nate would’ve guessed he was already asleep. Johnny cracked one eye open, making Nate realise a second too late that he hadn’t replied and had spent what must have been 20 seconds just watching Johnny.

“I – um, yeah, I think I will. You sure you don’t want me to sit with you until they sleep?” Nate offered, but Johnny waved him away with his hand.

Nate pulled off his jeans and changed into his Star Wars t-shirt, grateful that Johnny was cool with letting him sleep. He hadn’t been sleeping well the past few weeks, the paranoia of Farraday constantly looming over him. But sliding under the covers and feeling Johnny across the room made sleep come easier than it had in weeks.

* * *

Nate woke to a pitch-black room, and immediately reached over for his glasses to check the alarm clock on the bedside table. _2:05am._ He sighed and looked over to the sofa bed, seeing the silhouette of Johnny facing away from him, and the slight movement of the duvet from his breathing.

Kicking the duvet off, and swinging his legs off the bed, Nate tiptoed to the bathroom being careful not to make any noise that could wake Johnny. After turning on the light he glanced at himself in the mirror, and laughed at the obvious bags under his eyes and bed hair before weighting himself against the outside of the sink. He let the tap run for a few seconds and took off his glasses before dipping his hands into the water and splashing it against his face.

Nate reeled back, and his heart stopped as his eyes reached the mirror again. His mind became a jumble of words, as his mouth dried up and he froze.

 _Farraday._ Farraday’s eyes met Nate’s in the mirror, his scrawny face holding a sadistic, grim smile. As Farraday started to lift his leg out of the bath tub Nate spun around, pinning himself up against the counters and quickly shoving his glasses back onto his face.

And he was gone.

Nate had to laugh at himself. _Jesus. I really am losing my mind._ Nate shook his head, but his heart was still pounding in his ears.

Building up the courage, he made his way out of the bathroom, turning off the light and heading towards the mini bar. As he opened the door and pulled out a can of coke, he heard movement from the sofa bed. “Nate?” A voice half whispered.

“Yeah?” Nate used the light of the fridge to glance over to Johnny – who was still facing away from him. “Everything okay?” Nate shut the fridge door and started to make his way over to Johnny’s side. Before he could get there Johnny turned to face him… and it was not Johnny at all.

Farraday eyes were piercing into his through the dark, and Nate held back a scream, sprinting to the hotel room door, as Farraday began to swing his legs out of the bed. Nate stumbled and crashed in the door, forcing down the handle – forgetting about the latch holding it in place. The door made a noise of protest before Nate lifted his trembling hands to the latch, feeling Farraday coming up closer behind him.

Nate’s hands fumbled, and he cursed, before managing to pull it free and open the door. Nate glanced behind him to see one of Faraday’s hands reaching for him, before running out of the door. He didn’t make it far before he crashed into something. _Hard._ The force of the collision forced him off his feet and back over the threshold of the door back into the room.

He glanced up quickly, to see another Farraday, before scrambling back into the corner. He brought his knees up to his chest, and put his arms over head. He felt tears stream down his face as a hard ran down his forearm, “Stop, please” Nate begged “I ca-“

“Shhh, shh-shh” The voice felt like nails against a chalkboard and Nate felt the hairs rise on the back of his neck. “I m-missed you, Nate.” Nate felt the hand run under his chin, forcing his head up. Nate cemented his eyes shut as he felt the sensation of cold metal run down his cheek.

“…please…” Nate breathed, feeling his hands shaking.

“W-why don’t you sh-show me those pretty eyes, h-huh?”

Nate shook his head.

“N-no?” Nate shook his head again. “Okay t-then.”

Nate barely had time to brace himself as he felt an unbearable stabbing pain dragging down his cheek, the feeling of blood dripping down his chin. He let out an ear-piercing scream.

* * *

Nate’s eyes shot open, his breath escaping him as he felt a hand on his neck. _Farraday._ Nate scrambled up the bed, pressing his back against the headboard, feeling an oncoming panic attack wash over him.

“Specs? Hey, listen to me,” the second Johnny’s voice reached his ears, Nate felt himself relax immediately. “Nate?” The panic in Johnny’s voice was genuine and Nate realised that this was the first time anyone had witnessed him have one of his nightmares.

Nate reached over to grab his glasses off his bedside and looked Johnny in the eyes for the first time. “Sorry, yeah,” he cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair. “I’m fine. I j-just need some water or something.”

Nate made to get off the bed, stopped by Johnny wrapping a hand around his wrist. “Nate, can you just talk to me for a second? Please?” Nate was facing the wall, back turned to Johnny as he felt Johnny’s grip on his wrist loosen slightly.

He sighed and angled his body back around to be able to look at Johnny. “It’s _him_. I can’t stop seeing him. Every-“ Nate went quiet as he felt the fear build back up inside of him. He looked away, focusing on the wall behind Johnny’s head before he felt the weight of Johnny’s hand rest on his. Nate felt his face go red as his eyes snapped down to Johnny’s hand on his, frantically rushing to pull it away, folding his hands back into his lap. “Every time I close my eyes, he’s just _there_. Always trying to hurt me again.” Tears welled up in his eyes. “A-and I don’t know if it’s this case making me think about him again or- or if it’s just always going to be like this. I’m- I just, I don’t know- I” Nate started to stumble on his words and he felt tears fall down his cheeks.

“Nate, listen to me” Johnny moved across the bed towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder, reluctant to touch him anywhere else in fear of how he might react again. “I’m here, you’re here, he’s not. You have no idea the first time he-“Johnny paused in anger and Nate reached up to squeeze Johnny’s hand that was on his shoulder reassuringly. “The first time he hurt you, I was so mad at myself. I blame myself every time I think about it.” Johnny got off the bed to kneel in front of Nate and took Nate’s hands in his, looking into his panicked eyes. “I will never, ever let him get anywhere near you again. I promise.”

Nate slid himself down the side of the bed, sitting on the floor, facing Johnny who took that as his cue to sit down beside him. Sitting side by side, Nate shook his head. “I don’t know why you blame yourself,” his voice was barely above a whisper.

Johnny looked at him in disbelief, “how could I not? I was the one who didn’t lock that stupid fucking- Fucking slidey door.”

Nate couldn’t help but giggle at his frustration and the way Johnny’s dark brows furrowed as he said it. “So, it was your responsibility to make sure I did my job? Stop beating yourself up, Texas. It was my fault I didn’t check it was locked after you left.”

“How many times do I have to tell you? Your job isn’t to be out in the fucking field like that, especially not alone.” Johnny could feel himself getting angry but was trying his best to stop himself. _For Nate._

“Actually… it kind of is, Tex. I’m trained in self-defence, how to use a gun, first aid, for that exact reason: in case I’m needed out in the field.” Nate tried to smile, because whilst he knew he was technically right, he knew Johnny wasn’t going to see it that way.

“That’s not the point, Nate, and you know it. We should’ve neve-“

Nate cut him off, “but you did, ok? Can we stop with the blame game now? It’s no one’s fault but his for being- being…” he trailed off.

“A sick bastard?” Johnny finished off for him, looking at Nate and smiling fondly.

Nate flickered his eyes up to meet with Johnny’s before, Johnny noticed, he went noticeably red and broke their eye contact. Johnny’s heart jumped again as Nate wrapped his hand around Johnny’s arm and rested his head on Johnny’s shoulder. Lost in his own head, Johnny jumped as Nate spoke, “Stay with me tonight, Tex? Please?”

Without thinking Johnny rested his head on top of Nate’s and sighed, “Of course.”

* * *

Nate and Johnny stayed like that for what seemed like hours, both slipping in and out of sleep. It was only after Johnny took the initiative to pull Nate up that they made it to the bed. As Johnny placed the covers over Nate, he stopped himself. Nate was already half asleep, and he wasn’t sure where to draw the line. Did he do as Nate had asked and just assume sleeping together is what he meant? No. No, he didn’t think so. He’d just go back to the sofa bed.

Johnny pulled Nate’s glasses from his face and placed them on the bedside table where the clock read _3:02_ , reaching to turn the lamp off as he started to walk to the sofa bed. He was stopped by a hand on his wrist. “Stay… please.” Nate looked up at him with worry still in his eyes.

Johnny swallowed. “Ah, yeah- sorry - just didn’t know if-“ Johnny stopped himself and began to make his way around to the other side of the bed.

As Johnny got into bed and stared at the ceiling, he heard Nate shift to face him. “M’sorry if you feel awkward, I just feel safer with you here.” Despite being able to hear Nate’s delirious tone, Johnny still felt his cheeks heat up, as he turned onto his side to look at Nate.

“’ts not awkward Specs,” Johnny paused as his eyes flicked over Nate’s face, down to his lips. He cleared his throat, “do you, uh, have those nightmares often?” Johnny attempted to start up a conversation to distract himself.

It took Nate a while before he responded. “I’ve been having them a lot more recently… Like I said, I don’t know whether it’s because of this case or if it’s just getting worse.” Nate laughed to try and lighten the mood, hitting Johnny’s shoulder lightly. “You saved me though. Look at you… big, strong man like yourself… who’d be scared with you ‘round?”

Johnny smiled at the sleepiness that was taking over Nate’s voice and closed his eyes, “I’m always at my biggest and scariest when I’m around you. I mean, look at _you…_ wouldn’t hurt a fly. I feel like I have to protect you.” Johnny hoped that Nate hadn’t paid attention to the last thing that slipped out.

“Why’s that?” Nate opened his eyes to look Johnny. Johnny, with his eyes closed, tried to play it cool by grunting questioningly. Nate clarified, “I mean, why do you feel like you have to protect me?”

“Oh... I dunno- instinct, I guess. It _is_ kinda my job.” Nate felt his heart drop and Johnny paused before thinking _‘fuck it’_ and adding, “and I care about you. Quite a damn bit actually, Specs,” keeping his eyes firmly shut.

“… Johnny,” Nate whispered. The softness in Nate’s voice made Johnny open his eyes, finding them locking on to Nate’s bright ones.

Unconsciously Nate found himself shuffling across the bed closer to Johnny, resisting reaching out to put a hand on his chest. They were inches apart and Johnny remained frozen, completely shocked by how forward Nate was being.

Johnny’s eyes flickered down to where Nate’s tongue flicked across his lips. Nate’s voice was barely a whisper as he asked, “Johnny, do- do you mind if I try something?”

Johnny, lost for words, nodded gently, his breath hitching in his throat. As Nate reached up to put his hand around the back of Johnny’s neck, Johnny felt as though his heart was going fall out of his chest. The build-up was killing him, and he moved his head down to press his lips to Nate’s whilst putting his hand on Nate’s waist, before Nate made him wait any longer.

A noise of surprise came from the back of Nate’s throat before he began to kiss Johnny back. The tension that had been mounting for _years –_ ever since he met Johnny, was finally melting away, and Nate would have it no other way than these small, gentle kisses they were giving each other. Neither of them wanted to move it any further, content with… whatever _this_ was.  

When Nate pulled away slightly, he let out a giggle that made Johnny smile and move to kissing down Nate’s jaw and down his neck, before Nate pulled him back to give him another soft kiss.

Nate felt anxiety bubbling up in his chest, wondering whether it was just pity making Johnny act like this as he groaned and rolled onto his back, running his hands through his hair. “What are we doing? I’m ruining everything.” Nate covered his face.

Johnny placed a hand on Nate’s stomach and scoffed, “ _ruining everything_? Far from it. I’ve been waiting for _years_ to do that.”

Nate peaked out from behind is hands, “really?” His voice was high pitched and unsure. “Don’t just say that because you feel sorry for me, Tex.”

“I would never.” Johnny pulled on Nate’s waist, so Nate’s back was pressing against his chest. “I just wanna enjoy this moment, before chaos sets in tomorrow.”

Nate nodded, and pushed himself further into Johnny’s chest and Johnny took the opportunity to kiss the back of his neck before resting his chin on the top of his head. Johnny felt Nate sigh in what he hoped was contentment, before closing his eyes, knowing that this is how he wanted to fall asleep for the rest of his life.

Nate reached up to take Johnny’s hand that was underneath his neck, smiling as he closed his eyes, not knowing that he felt exactly the same way as Johnny.

 


End file.
